Her heart
by ScareGlow
Summary: Set after the series' ending, but mostly ignoring the comic. Buffy and Faith are training the new slayers in Scotland now, but when Buffy's behaviour becomes more and more aggressive, Faith decides to call in the heart of the Scoobies to help...
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and don't earn any money with this and all that jazz.

AN: This is a little plot bunny I just couldn't ignore. Let me know what you think of it!

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„No, no, no, NO!" Buffy's annoyed voice rang out through the training room.

Faith merely rolled her eyes and started mentally counting down from five. As she'd expected, the junior slayer who'd become the focus of Buffy's latest outburst dissolved into tears before she'd reached zero. If the situation hadn't been close to frightening even to her, she probably would've laughed: Here they were, training the newly-called slayers, and she, Faith, rogue slayer and psycho bitch, was the calm and understanding one, while Buffy, golden girl and Ms. Reasonable, was the maniac and the raving bitch.

The Bostonian slayer rubbed her eyes tiredly. It couldn't continue like this. Buffy had chewed out everyone who dared cross her path in any way recently, and the results hadn't been pretty: The junior slayers cowered in fear whenever the senior slayer was close, and the general atmosphere was a rather post-apocalyptic one. Even Faith herself felt her body tense up whenever Buffy entered the room she was in, and while she didn't know what had caused Buffy's behaviour, she definitely knew when it had begun: the day that the Scoobies had split up to get the situation with all the newly-called slayers under control. Andrew had stayed in America with Wood (who she was glad not to be sharing the same continent with, thank you very much), Willow and Kennedy had gone to South America, Xander had travelled to Africa, and Dawn, Buffy and herself had accompanied Giles to the United Kingdom. While Buffy and her were training the junior slayers in Scotland, Giles was rebuilding the Watcher's Council in England with the help of Dawn, who had proven surprisingly helpful in that task.

Faith sighed. Perhaps it really was time she did something. When she saw (and heard) Buffy yelling at yet another baby slayer, she changed adverbs: It was definitely time she did something.

A little over an hour later, Faith stood in her room in front of her phone and took a deep breath. 'The brats better thank me for doing this,' she thought while dialling the number. When a soft, female voice answered the phone, she took another deep breath.

"I need to speak to Xander."

"Who is this?" came the cautious reply.

"Faith. Now get the X-Man on the line!" Great. Much more aggressive than she'd wanted to be, but at least it had the desired effect, as the girl answered her to wait a moment while she got him. The buxom brunette nervously chewed on her lower lip while waiting for Xander. She wasn't sure how he'd react to her calling, but she couldn't imagine he'd be all that happy. During the fight against the First she'd mostly ignored him, focussing on the fight, Buffy, the potentials and Wood instead, and even after the fall of Sunnydale, when things had been less hectic, she hadn't talked to Xander at all.

Why? Because she'd always been better at running away from problems than facing them. And facing Xander was one of the few things she was really, really afraid of. The one-eyed carpenter had been the first male in her life to offer her a true friendship without any strings attached, and what she'd done to him… Well, she had lost quite a bit of sleep over it during her time in prison. It wasn't that she hadn't done worse in her life, but Xander… He was special. Special because she couldn't help but admire what he'd done and what he represented: Without any superpower or supernatural ability, he'd faced demons that even supernatural warriors feared. He threw himself into every fight with everything he had, and when his friends were in danger, his determination was the anchor and the driving force that had helped save the day more than once. He was able to crack a joke in the face of death, and not because he wasn't scared, but because it was what the ones around him needed. He truly was the heart of the Scooby-gang, and his loyalty knew no bounds.

Faith had once been asked about Xander and why he was so important to all the seasoned fighters by several baby slayers. She could still remember her answer: "It's simple. Xander would and will do anything that's necessary." The way she'd said it had left the young slayers wide-eyed and silent. Almost as an afterthought, she'd added: "Oh, and should you ever think of hurting one of Xander's girls, kill him first." She'd meant it, too. In his own way, Xander (in her opinion) might very well be the most dangerous of all the Sunnydale veterans.

His voice brought her out of her musings.

"Faith? What's wrong?" Short and to the point. Not a quality Xander used to be associated with.

"Hey Xand. I think we really need some help here. B's tearing into the baby slayers like you wouldn't believe."

He sighed, and Faith was taken aback by how old he sounded.

"So I've heard. Some of my girls called me and sent e-mails." Of course, she should've known! Several of the slayers Xander had turned up in Africa were here! "How bad is it, really?"

She felt herself growing a little more nervous.

"Bad enough for me to call."

Another sigh on his end of the line.

"Alright, I'll be over as soon as I can." With that, the line went dead.


	2. The arrival

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and don't earn any money with this and all that jazz.

AN: Thanks so much for the reviews! Glad to see a couple of people like the first chapter, so, without much ado, on to the second! Enjoy, and feel free to drop me any comments and/or suggestions!

Oh, and let's see how quickly you'll be able to figure out what pairing I have in mind with this one. ;)

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Faith was standing in the arrivals area of Glasgow Airport. She'd already had an espresso at the Caffe Nero, because in her anxiety not to mess up picking up Xander, she'd of course been at the airport way too soon. She'd wandered through the WH, but now Xander would come from the baggage claim any minute. She hated how nervous she felt, but she couldn't help it.

Then, he came out, and her eyes widened. He was still featuring the eye-patch, but other than that… He'd lost a lot of weight, she noticed; it made his broad shoulders stand out even more. Add a stubble, a ragged pair of jeans, a form-fitting white t-shirt and a slightly worn expression, and he didn't appear like someone you'd willingly cross. He was carrying a small suitcase and looking around for his escort. Faith raised her arm, and when he spotted her, he gave s short nod.

"Faith."

"Hey Xand. Thanks for coming over. It's really great that…" Faith started, but was quickly cut off by Xander.

"No need to thank me. Can we get out of here? Only I'm freezing already."

She gulped. Although there didn't seem to be any open hostility, she could sense that Harris wasn't too keen on her company, and she could hardly blame him.

"Right. You… you don't have a jacket or somethin'?"

"Didn't need one in Africa." Again, short and precise, and Faith had to admit that the constant lack of emotion in his voice started to unnerve her.

"We could make a quick stop and get you something to wear. Only it's even colder in the castle… and outside."

He seemed to think about it for two, maybe three seconds.

"Alright. Lead the way."

It was only a short way to the shops on the first floor, but it was enough time for Faith to notice a couple of things: Xander always stayed on her left, preferring to turn his blind spot to the foreign environment over turning it to her. 'Guy doesn't trust me. Big surprise there.' Still, it stung a little. Xander's single eye was constantly sweeping the area. 'Keeps his guard up. Good.' He never walked beside her, but always a half-step behind her. 'Again with the trust.' He moved silently, even though they were in a loud environment. 'Got so used to being sneaky that he does it without noticing.' All in all, Faith had a much better picture of Xander when they reached the stores. It took Xander about 10 minutes to find a couple of pullovers and a coat and pay for them. Another few minutes later, they were on their way to the castle the slayers lived in.

"Anything I should know before we arrive?" Xander asked.

Faith took a deep breath before spontaneously deciding that she wouldn't get a better invitation or opportunity than this. 

"Actually, yes, but it'll take a couple minutes. You up for some food?"

He turned his head slightly, seemingly studying her for a moment. "Okay."

By the time their orders arrived, Faith had told Xander everything there was to know about the situation at the castle. Xander had hardly said a word, which Faith still hadn't really adjusted to. The Xander she remembered had chatted endlessly, always making light of any situation, but this new Xander that was sitting across the table now…

"So how's Africa?" she asked, hoping perhaps talking about the last few months would draw him out a bit more. She was to be sorely disappointed.

"Hot. Exhausting. Fairly successful if you go by the number of slayers we found and recruited. What is it you really want to talk about, Faith?"

She sighed. "I… I wanna apologize, Xan. I know I fucked up really bad, and I don't expect you to forgive me or anythin', but I want you to know I'm really sorry. I'm sorry I didn't take you seriously back then, that I almost killed you and that I didn't speak a word to you when we fought the First and after."

His face remained expressionless, which didn't exactly help to calm her nerves.

"As I said, no expectations; I know you have other things to focus on, so I just wanna tell you that I won't be in your way, and if you need anythin', you can gimme a holler."

"What if I wanted to fuck?"

Faith's eyes grew very wide for a moment, and she paled considerably. "I… That… I…" She averted her eyes, looking down at the plate in front of her, and spoke in a very quiet voice. "I… I don't do that anymore… I'm sorry, I mean… I… I know I really owe you… a lot… but…"

Even though Xander didn't move or make a sound, Faith felt the tension that seemed to surround him break a little. When she looked up, she saw that a tiny smile had crept on his face.

"Very good," he said, and this time, his voice almost sounded like the one she knew. Seeing her surprise, he continued. "No worries, Faith, I'm not interested in sex. It was just a little test."

She blinked. A test? By Xander?

He shrugged. "Call it the Africa syndrome, but I tend to believe people's actions more than their words these days. I caught you off guard with my question, and your reaction was honest. That's all I wanted. You ready to go to the castle now?"

She couldn't help but smile at his sneakiness. Oh yeah, the Xand-man had definitely picked up a few new tricks, and she was pretty curious what else he might have up his sleeve. And while he hadn't accepted her apology or even forgiven her, she felt that there was a chance he would some day. It was more than she'd expected.

"I was born ready," she replied with a confident smile, her mood greatly improved.

Xander's reaction, however, caught her off guard once again.

"No doubt," he said in a tone that could almost be considered… suggestive? Flirtatious? At the door, he turned to the still stunned Faith. "I'm not seventeen anymore, Faith. Better get used to it."

The tone of his voice took any sting out of his words, and Faith couldn't help but grin. If he wanted to play, she was game!

"So I noticed, Xan… Now move that cute butt of yours into the car."

-

Buffy had just finished lecturing one of the junior slayers, whose name she couldn't quite remember. The girl was crying silently, while she continued the training session with the others. Her annoyance reached another peak when she was interrupted by a tiny voice coming from the door.

"Ms. Summers?"

It was Debbie, one of the slightly less pathetic baby slayers, who didn't have training right now.

"What?" Buffy snapped irritably.

The girl cringed a little. "Well… there's a visitor here to see you."

Buffy growled, annoyed. "So? Just send them away! I'm in the middle of a training session, if you haven't noticed!"

"But…" Debbie tried once more.

"Do I have to kick them out myself?" Buffy roared, her patience with the girl completely exhausted now.

"Well, Buff, I have to say I'm a tad disappointed here. I'd thought you'd be happy to see me," a male voice from outside the door replied in a slightly playful tone.

Buffy's eyes grew large. "X… Xander?"

The door swung open fully, revealing none other than the founding Scooby behind Debbie.

"In the flesh, but I guess I better hurry and leave before you kick… oomph!"

Xander's banter was interrupted by the blonde senior slayer, who hurled herself into his arms with so much force that she almost knocked him to the floor.

"Xander!" She cried, hugging him tightly.

"Buff… air… needed…" Xander exaggeratedly choked out.

Buffy loosened her grip a little and looked up at him, tears spilling from her eyes and a huge smile threatening to split her face.

"Xander! It's so good to see you!" With that, she buried her face in his chest.

Xander smiled softly, his arms holding the tiny frame of his friend. "Now that's more like it. So how about Faith continues the training session while we take a walk and catch up?"

She slowly let go of him. "Okay." She looked behind Xander, where the brunette slayer was standing with a neutral expression on her face. "Faith?"

The Bostonian nodded. "Already on it, B."

The blonde slayer returned the nod and left with Xander, not noticing the wide-eyed stares the scene had been receiving from the baby slayers.

As soon as the door closed, they looked at Faith for an explanation.

"What?" the former rogue slayer asked, even though she knew exactly what they were thinking.

Sonja, a lively black-haired girl from Germany, spoke first. "What was zat?"

Faith continued to play dumb. "What was what?"

Sonja rolled her eyes. "You know what! Ms. Summers smiled! And cried! And… and she behaved like a human!"

Faith sighed. She knew there wouldn't be any more training today; the girls were much too confused and unfocussed now; they'd only end up hurting each other because of a lack of concentration.

"Alright, alright. I'll tell you. You know who that was?" she asked.

Roka, a dark-skinned slayer from Egypt, piped up at the question. "Dat was Xander Harris!"

Faith smiled. She'd bet quite some money that Roka had a crush on the one-eyed carpenter. It was a rather safe bet, really, because almost all of the African slayers seemed to be smitten with the Californian. Not that she blamed them: Having lost the extra-pounds he'd gathered in Sunnyhell and in their stead having gained an air of competence and danger had made the X-man quite a treat; she knew that in her old days, she'd have already fucked him blind by now.

She nodded to Roka.

"That's right. And Harris… Well, let's just say there's no funk in the world he can't bring B out of. They fought together for seven years in Sunnydale, right till the day you were all called."

"The Scooby gang!" Belinda, a red-haired slayer from Ireland, excitedly threw in.

Faith nodded at her with a smile. Belinda was a digger for all things related to Slayer history, so the Scoobies were like pop-stars to her.

"Exactly. B, Xand, Red, G and Pipsqueak." She rolled her eyes at the confused looks she got after that statement. "Buffy, Xander, Willow, Giles and Dawn. They faced everything together: humans, vampires, demons, robots, witches, ghosts, mutants, even gods. You name it, and there's a good chance they defeated it. B was the fighter, Red did all the magic mojo, G and Pip were the researchers, and Xand…" She glanced at the door as if to make sure that he was really out of earshot. "Well, Xand was the heart. He kept the group together, kept the morale up and helped out wherever he could. No superpowers for the carpenter, but he was always in the first row when a battle had to be fought."

"Wow," one of the junior slayers muttered.

"Wow indeed," Faith agreed. "It was an amazing team." She tried to ignore the painful feeling inside that told her she could have been a part of that team, if only... She suppressed that thought and continued. "And you won't ever find a more loyal person than Xander. So piece of advice? If you ever get the chance to have him in your team, take it."

Monica, one of the American slayers, raised a disbelieving eye-brow. "But if you had the choice between Ms. Summers and Mr. Harris…"

"I'd pick Xan in a heartbeat," Faith interrupted quickly and determinedly. "Trust me," she continued before anything else could be said, "once you know him, you'll see why." She winked at Roka and the other African slayers. "Or you ask the girls who already know him and see what they'll tell ya." She stretched and yawned a little. "Me, I'm gonna take a break. See ya later, kids!" With that, Faith left, and only the grin on her face confirmed that she was aware of the barrage of questions that rained down on the African slayers as soon as she'd turned her back to the group. Oh yeah, calling the X-man had definitely been a good idea.


	3. A walk and a talk

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and don't earn any money with this and all that jazz.

AN: And once again thanks for the reviews! They keep me motivated to continue as quickly as possible!

Enjoy the new chapter!

---------------------------------BTVS---------------------------------

Xander could hardly believe that the person he'd heard screaming in the training room and the young woman now walking beside him were really one and the same. From the moment she'd realized that he was here, Buffy seemed like her old self, although Xander noticed that something was definitely different… He just wasn't sure exactly what.

"So how's Africa?" Buffy asked.

Xander shrugged. "Well, it's pretty hot. Or more like really hot. Perhaps even hotter. But I'd say it's good someone's there; I've traced a lot of slayers, and in most cases, it was good that I did. I mean, those people know surprisingly much about supernatural forces, but many think that the slayer's one of the bad guys, just like the demons. Which is kinda bad for the girls."

Buffy nodded. "You saved a lot of them, didn't you?"

He half-shrugged. "Well, they saved me a lot, too. I mean, you know me and how I can get into trouble sometimes."

He grinned, and Buffy had to smile as well.

"I seem to remember a few such incidents," she replied sagely.

"Thanks for saying 'a few'," Xander joked. "Anyway, I've got quite a team down there. I guess I got lucky in that department. How about you?"

"Oh, same old, same old," Buffy nonchalantly answered. "Nothing I can't handle."

Xander raised a curious eye-brow, and Buffy's façade immediately began to crack.

"I mean, it's not like I can't train slayers. I'm good at training. Great even! I…"

She stopped and looked at Xander, who's stopped as well, and then it just all burst out of her.

"God, Xander, I hate it. I don't mean to be so mean to the girls, I really don't, but the way they're always looking at me as if I had the answers to everything… it… it gets to me, you know? It makes me mad. Sometimes I feel as if they depend on me so much… and they shouldn't. They should be strong, capable and independent. Perhaps I'm really messing everything up here…"

From the way the speed of her speech increased, Xander knew that Buffy was about to break, so he put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't even learn how to be a senior slayer… And I shouldn't be the one in charge! Giles… Giles is so much better at it. He's the one with the answers! I'm the muscle; you tell me what to kill, and I kill it. Not so much with the planning, training others, being responsible for so many girls whose life could depend on any decision I make! We already saw that in Sunnydale, when I messed up everything with the potentials! What if I make another mistake? What if I get them all killed?"

She looked in Xander's eyes, all her fears and insecurities finally out in the open, even though she hadn't intended to tell her best friend all that. Surprisingly for her, he remained calm, as did his voice when he answered.

"You won't."

"But Xander…"

"No, you won't," he repeated a little more forcefully. "Buffy, you're not alone in this. And even if you were, these girls have brains of their own; they can make their own decisions. No one forces them to mindlessly follow orders, and no one trains them to do so, you least of all. All you do is giving them some extra skills and experience. So you don't carry all the responsibility for them, you understand?"

She nodded lightly, as if finding it hard to grasp what Xander was saying while at the same time feeling an enormous relief starting to wash over her.

"You're doing a great job, Buff, and always have. You always try to do what's best, and you've learned from your mistakes, especially from those in Sunny-D! The fact that you're so worried about leading those girls shows that! But you underestimate yourself here: You're a very capable leader and the best senior slayer we could wish for. The girls can count themselves lucky that they can learn from you. And you're still my hero. That hasn't changed."

Silent tears were finally running down her cheeks. "Not even after…?" she timidly asked, vaguely pointing towards his eye-patch.

"Not even after that," he confirmed. "You're not infallible, but no one's asking you to be." He grinned. "I mean, sure, we like infallible, so if you can be, go ahead!" He grew serious again. "But we don't expect that from you. We just need you to be here, 'cause we just can't do all this without you."

After a small pause, she took a deep breath. "I just feel… really alone right now. Everyone's gone…" Her voice sounded so small, so lost it almost made Xander cry.

"Hey now," he said encouragingly, "that's something we can change, you know? What would you say if I stayed here for a while? I mean, I don't know how much help I can be, but…"

"You'd do that?" she interrupted, her pose changing from dejected to hopeful within a blink.

"Do you really need to ask?" he countered, and Buffy threw her arms around his neck.

"Thanks, Xander."

He hugged her back. "Come on now, no need to thank me. I get to annoy my best friend, and I get out of the African desert; it's a win-win for me."

She pulled back with a smile. "Well, but it's cold here. Rainy even. And you can't travel around. In fact, no travelling, period, 'cause you surely can't drive on the wrong side of the road. And you have to listen to all my whining and complaints, and you have to watch TV with me. English soaps."

He shuddered theatrically. "When you put it like this, perhaps I should ask Faith to drive me back to the airport."

"Don't you dare," she said, hugging her friend again. It must've seemed more desperate than she intended, for she could hear his voice quietly telling her: "You know I'm always there for you, Buffy. All you have to do is call me."

She nodded, feeling truly relieved for the first time in weeks.

"So, Faith called you, huh?" she finally asked after pulling back again.

Xander nodded. "She did. I was a bit shocked; I thought there had to be another apocalypse or something. I mean, Faith calling me, what're the chances?"

"She was just scared."

This answer obviously confused him. "Of what?"

"Facing you. She has lots of nightmares about her past, Xander." At his inquisitive look, she explained. "Her room's pretty close to mine, and I've heard her a couple of times. Her past's haunting her, and you're an important part of that."

He seemed taken aback a little. "I never thought…"

"You didn't think she even remembered it, right? That you were just another notch in her bedpost?" She tried not to sound too accusing, but Xander's ability to constantly sell himself short always got under her skin more than many other things.

He shrugged awkwardly.

"Don't underestimate yourself and your importance here, Xander," she warned. "Faith might not show it easily, but she hasn't forgotten what happened, and I think by now she's understood what you tried to do back then."

"Sounds like the two of you finally bonded," he remarked.

Buffy snorted. "Faith and I are far from best friends… but I think I understand her a little better now. We've had a few talks, and it's helped. At least I trust her to be on our side and not to turn on us at the next chance. She's really changed."

"I hope so," Xander said noncommittally, before faltering under Buffy's gaze. "Okay, yes, I believe it, too. She seems different and everything. We'll see."

Feeling a change of topic was in order, Buffy resumed walking, Xander quickly falling in step.

"So what did you bring me from Africa? Surely you didn't come here without a gift?"

He grinned.

"That's so typical. All you girls ever think about is gifts, gifts, gifts. Does anyone ask if I had a nice flight? No. Does anyone ask me if I'm hungry or thirsty after my journey? No. What is it some very greedy person, whose name shall not be mentioned now, asks me? 'What did you bring me from Africa?'"

Buffy returned his grin.

"That's not an answer, Xander. So tell me, or better yet, give me!"

He shook his head in amused defeat.

"Back in the castle. I got it in my suitcase."

She grinned even wider. "See? That wasn't so difficult, was it? Come on, let's get me my gift, and then you can tell me about your journey and have food."

"You're so generous, I can't even begin to describe it," he dryly remarked.

"And don't you forget it!"

As they returned to the castle, Xander noticed that Buffy seemed to have the old bounce back in her step, something that had clearly been missing when they'd walked out. Hopefully, things would return to normal quickly; while he didn't mind being in Scotland at all and in fact was looking forward to spending time with the oldest slayer, he wasn't too keen on another showdown with angry, upset, pissed off Buffy.

"Hey Buff?"

"Hm?" she asked, not really paying attention as she was looking forward to her gift.

"It's good to be here," he honestly said.

That stopped her abruptly. With a warm smile and a nod, she hugged him once more. "It's great to have you here."

"Everything gonna be okay?"

"Yep. Everything gonna be okay." And for the first time in weeks, she really believed it.


End file.
